I was raised in complementarian theology - wives submit to husbands, strict gender roles, a whole hierarchical system. I married someone kind, but the system itself was suffocating. I couldn't use my gifts. I couldn't lead. I couldn't even speak in church.
When I read 2 John again, I noticed something: John's addressing a woman, and he says the main thing is that 'we love one another.' Not hierarchy. Not submission. Love.
I slowly started pushing back against the constraints. My husband, to his credit, started questioning them too. We read egalitarian theology together. We realized that love-based relationships look nothing like power-based ones.
Our marriage transformed. I'm not submitting to him; we're submitting to each other. I'm using my gifts. He's supporting me. We're partners. And John was right - the main thing is that we love one another. Everything else is just details.
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