Hagar puts Ishmael down under a bush because she can't bear to watch him die of thirst. She can't witness his death, so she abandons him to die out of her sight.
That's the depth of her despair - she's still his mother, she loves him, but she can't survive watching his suffering. The abandonment comes from an inability to endure.
My therapist and I talked about this when my friend couldn't stay with me through my suicide attempt. I was angry at her absence. But maybe she was like Hagar - she couldn't bear to be present to that level of pain. That doesn't erase the harm, but it helps me understand.
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