I'm a marriage counselor, and I've noticed that marriages thrive when both people are oriented toward the other's flourishing, not their own comfort. Paul's image of Christ's love for the church as something so complete it involves sacrifice seems extreme until you see that same dynamic in the healthiest marriages.
People often enter marriage with the assumption that the other person should make them happy, that love means getting what you want from another person. But Paul describes something inverted: love oriented toward the other's growth, transformation, and becoming their best self, even when that requires sacrifice on your part.
I've watched marriages transform when people shift from 'How is my partner making me happy?' to 'How am I helping my partner become more fully themselves?' That reorientation is what produces genuine intimacy and lasting commitment. It's not about romantic feelings or getting your needs met. It's about active, sacrificial commitment to another person's flourishing.
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