I'm on my third marriage. First two ended in disaster partly because I had this view that I was supposed to be the leader, make the decisions, be strong. My wife was supposed to support that. It made both of us miserable.
When I became a Christian, I kept hearing about this passage - husband love your wife like Christ loved the church. I thought that meant be in charge. But then I actually read about how Christ loved the church. He sacrificed. He served. He washed feet. He died for it. He didn't use the church to feel powerful.
That completely rewrote what my marriage is supposed to be. I'm not leading from a position of dominance. I'm leading by laying down my life for this woman's wellbeing. And the strangest thing - the moment I stopped trying to prove I was in charge, my marriage actually started working. My wife isn't trying to resist me anymore. We're partners in something real instead of locked in a power struggle.
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