Jacob shows blatant favoritism toward Joseph. He makes him a special coat. In a family with twelve sons, he makes clear that one is preferred. This is a recipe for resentment.
My family system includes clear favoring - my older brother was clearly the golden child. I didn't get the coat, but I got the message that he mattered more. This passage used to make me angry at Jacob. How could you be so blind?
But my therapist helped me see that Jacob himself was favored - Rachel preferred him, God chose him over Esau. He's replicating the dynamic that shaped him. It's understandable and it's destructive at the same time. Favoritism usually comes from the favored person trying to recreate what made them feel safe.
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