I went to a Christian college and received all the talks about purity. Stay a virgin, don't lust, save yourself for marriage. It created this intense shame around sexuality that I've spent my adult years trying to undo.
But Paul's saying something different than I heard. He's saying abstain from sexual immorality - from using people, from betraying trust, from distorting something sacred into something cheap. That's not the same as being ashamed of your sexuality.
I'm learning to have a healthier relationship with my body and my desires. Not denying them, not acting on every impulse, but actually integrating sexuality as part of my humanity rather than as a problem to manage. And I'm finding I'm actually more able to abstain from things that would hurt people when I'm not approaching sex from a place of shame.
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