Samson's mother is told he'll be a Nazirite from the womb - no razor to his head, no wine or strong drink. The Nazirite vow was about separation, about being set apart for God's purposes. But reading Samson's story, it's clear he didn't actually want to be separated. He wanted Philistine women and vineyards and everything his vow told him to avoid.
I wonder if God is trying to tell us something about how vows work. You can be called to something, even before you're born, and still choose to rebel against it. The calling doesn't guarantee compliance. Samson had the calling his entire life, but he treated it like an inconvenient restriction rather than a gift. His parents understood what it meant - his mother immediately took on the restrictions herself. But Samson never internalized it.
My therapist pointed out that I was like that with my own gifts for a long time. I was called to something, had the capacity for it, but resented it. I wanted to be somebody else. It took years before I quit fighting what I was actually made for. Samson's tragedy is partly that he never got there. He used his strength selfishly until it was taken from him. Then, in his final act, he finally aligned with his calling.
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