Going to Confession

Confession is usually arranged rather than dropped in on. In many parishes it is offered at set times — often before or after Vespers on Saturday evening, or before the Divine Liturgy — but the ordinary courtesy is to ask the priest when he hears confessions, or simply to approach him and say you would like to confess. There is no need to wait for a crisis; the Church intends confession as regular medicine, not emergency surgery only.

Some preparation beforehand helps enormously, and it has its own entry: see preparing for confession. In short, it means setting aside a little quiet time to examine your conscience honestly and to pray. Whether one fasts before confession, and how confession relates to receiving Communion, varies by jurisdiction and by the counsel of your own priest — this is a good thing to ask him directly rather than to assume.

Orthodox confession does not usually happen in an enclosed booth. In most parishes you stand (or kneel) with the priest before an icon of Christ or the Gospel book and a cross, often laid on a small analogion (a stand). The arrangement itself preaches the meaning: you are not confessing to the priest but to Christ, with the priest beside you as a witness. The priest may begin with introductory prayers, and in the Slavic tradition he reads an exhortation that sets the whole tone: "Behold, my child, Christ standeth here invisibly and receiveth thy confession... Lo, His holy image is before us: and I am but a witness, bearing testimony before Him of all things which thou dost say to me."

Then you confess — aloud, in your own words, simply naming your sins without speeches or excuses. This is your own confession, not a report on anyone else. The priest listens; he may ask a gentle question, and he will usually offer a few words of counsel or encouragement suited to you, for he is a physician of souls, not a judge processing a case. When you have finished, it is customary to bow your head. The priest lays the end of his stole (the epitrachelion) and his hand on your head and prays the prayer of absolution. The exact wording differs between traditions — the Slavic form is declarative ("I... forgive and absolve thee"), the Greek more often a prayer asking God's pardon — but in every form it is God who forgives, through the ministry the risen Christ gave His Church: "Whose soever sins ye remit, they are remitted unto them."

Sometimes the priest gives a penance (epitimia) — perhaps some prayers, a spiritual reading, an act of charity, or occasionally, for a serious matter, a period before receiving Communion. This is not a punishment to earn forgiveness, which is already given, but medicine to help the healing take hold. In many places confession is closely tied to preparing for Holy Communion; how often to do both is worth settling with your priest (see how often to confess and commune).

The most important thing afterward is to leave your sins where you left them. Once confessed and absolved, they are gone — "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins." To keep digging them up is not humility but a lack of faith in God's mercy, and the Fathers warn against that anxious scrupulosity as much as against carelessness. Walk out lighter. The point of going was never to feel bad, but to be made well, and to begin again.